Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
