I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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