Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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