Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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