Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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