you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
