If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
COCAINE IS GR8
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
