he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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