Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
