fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
