i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
