youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize