this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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