I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
