i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
