First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
