can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize