Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize