Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
