I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
