Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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