i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
