You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
