maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize