I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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