therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
