Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
