We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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