I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize