cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
