Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
