The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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