And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
