I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
