Swine flu. Run for my life!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
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