he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Can I color on your dick again?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
