We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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