so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
