My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
