Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
