***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
