if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
