Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
