After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
