Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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