I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
