I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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