I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
