He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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