I wanna bring you to show and tell
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
