oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
