Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
