i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sext me about skeletons
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
