i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
