what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
