you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
