anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
