In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
