It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
