Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
