she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
