I just cut my nipple shaving
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
soo... how was my night?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
